[VOLUNTEERS, at BUSAN FILM FESTIVAL 08]
[Apichatpong at Tokyo FILMEX 10]
[from one of my fav flicks...BRINGING UP BABY； the hint is that,
the event is like our baby...]
with the help of my Korean friend Uni, I was able to, finally, burn a dvd at IMac. If tomorrow anything's going wrong, would I become hysteric and broke down?
ALSO See: Almodovar's "Woman on the Verge of Nerves Breakdown".
我們的“小可憐”終於要揭開序幕。忐忑不安總是有的，不過我假裝我果然生出了平常心。也得到老天眷顧，有那麼多可愛的人兒，願意明天來幫手。
Our event opens tomorrow, which of course makes me quite anxious. Still I shall play normal, and thinking of how lucky we are that at the final moment there are more helpers joining.
前一天一位中國電影網站的編輯朋友，讓我給她填一個訪談，題目是“電影改變人生”；這大概是我覺得挺不堪的一個話題。電影能改變我嗎？能夠改變我們嗎？
Few days ago an editor friend of a China-based film site asked me to fill in their questionnaire about "how films change your lives", a topic that I find pretty intimidating and depressing. Could cinema change me, or /and us all?
帶著這樣的頗為悲觀的預設問題迎接明天的同時，我也向大家宣佈我們的aftertalk其實只是Q&A.
I should say I feel pretty pessimistic about the transforming force of cinema, while I have to clarify again that, the after-talk with me, is indeed the Q & A...
不過一如既往，我必須以高昂姿態結束本段。那麼我想引用米蘭昆德拉“生命不能承受之輕”中經常出現的一個短語，那就是“ES MUSS SEIN”.它足以用來解釋我們的癡迷，或者關於“電影改變人生”的話題。
Let me end this chapter with my fav quote recently, from Kundera's "the Unbearable Lightness of Being", and it is "Es Muss Sein" (strictly speaking it is not a quote per se from Kundera right?)
我們已經 聽從於心聲了，不是嗎？（這句話或許引用了才去世的喬布斯）
We've followed our hearts. (a quote probably has something to do with Jobs...)
BTW: I'm taking off to Busan for its film forum next Monday!
[these women simply, rock]
「3 years ago at Busan, Jagalchi Fish Market」
I gradually realize that compared to the cinematic world and fictional lives we have experienced at cinemas, the actual living world is definitely more essential and therefore important(well. it takes time for me to realize so, at least). 3 years ago when strolling at jagalchi fish market on the first day visiting Busan Film Festival, I had the idea that maybe it'd be more enjoyable to simply walk out of cinemas and no longer be prisoned by the walls of theaters, events, happenings, and encounters at the grand fest.
所以對那些和我表示抱歉不能來參加某一日放映活動的朋友，我都會說，真的不打緊，如果你不能來，也許不是一件壞事兒。如果以這樣的態度來對待自己掏腰包辦放映這件事，我也暫時不必去計較某種崇高的、關於中國獨立電影本身的責任感。這麼說，並不代表我在傳播中國獨立電影方面沒有更大的野心。不過至少，我想這個舉重若輕的態度很關鍵。
Therefore it is my true feeling that whenever friends tell me they cannot make it for the screenings at Common Cafe or remo, I'd say never mind---the fact that you cannot watch one or two films with us is no bad at all. Reconsidering my motivations behind the self-funding events, I believe it'd be the last thing to take into account that my ambition lies with opening up more space for the circulation of Chinese independent cinema overseas. Though I shall never deny it, either. I'd think it's healthy for the time being not to emphasize the "responsibility talk" but to highlight the cinephiliac "joy".
我只是想，如果用那並不算金額巨大的資金，在大阪和其他城市推動一個看電影的活動，讓喜歡電影的人包括我們自己開心，是我和王玨所能作的，最美好的事兒。
Then...if our screenings could make you happy, or bring you any food for thought, that'd be our sincere wish.
[the turtle seal...by Tera-san : )]
[Nakazaki-cho]
Met Mr. Fumioka, who's been a crucial pusher for Japanese indie films and young film talents. But I like how he would love to talk to us and the way he was always searching for something, flyers, posters, catalogues in order to bring it to me.
The time at Cocoroom seems pretty relaxing and I didn't realize it was already 8 pm when I was leaving! Ate dinner with people whom I like a lot.
Are we ready for the counting-down??
(I'm not sure...haha)
[NAITO @ Rotterdam; cube at Rotterdam]
考虑到她没有我那么闲，我深感惶恐。
Recently me and Wang Jue have somehow synchronized for what we do for the event via the amazing QQ. Considering that she's not as free as me (October the school opens...well I'm full time I know...), I feel ...guilty.
传电影，传字幕，然后解决字幕问题；编辑小册子，计算成本，不过稍微觉得松口气。
“李献计”和“红领巾”的字幕播放有问题，被同事拔刀相助解决了。我花了点时间陶醉于日文字幕版的“李献计”。我的同事樱田和也是传说中的geek，如传说中的那样，并不认识中文的他把字幕搞定，顺手改了台词里面的小错。他也许觉得“志愿者”这个称呼特不酷。
We are busy transferring films and subtitle files, making sure they do work. Some time has been spent editing the pamphlet we want to publish, with the budget re-calculated time and again. I feel much relived given that most of our films are ready. Yeah! I spent some time indulging in the J-subtitle for Li Yang's brilliant, almost epic-ish one-man animation short----Lee's Adventure.
I must mention my URP colleague Mr. Sakurada Kazuya, as the legendary geek, he helped me solving the problem of the srt. ass. files...and he even corrected one sentence in our translated document...today he told me he'd rather be called a "servant"for all his amazing technical support...well...maybe he doesn't like the title of "volunteer"...all the best with his thesis writing! (very sincere wish...)
那天我走出韩国领事馆并得知自己差不多不能去釜山电影论坛的时候，深感屈辱的同时，问自己，去那里真的那么重要吗？
Yet, yesterday after I walked out of the Korean consulate and was told the visa was not possible (since my Japan visa is still being processed...) , feeling humiliated (which is not new for me...) I cannot help but ask myself, why I MUST go there, and is it THAT important for me?
还记得自己第一次去鹿特丹时的窘样。如果2012还能去那里，那我就是他们的四年生了。
Still remember the first time to be the young trainee at Rotterdam Film Festival ---and how dumb I have been. if I could make it in 2012, then that would make my fourth year!
09年在那里看到Naito Takatsugu的“不灯港”（Dark Harbour）.采访导演的时候，他一来就和我道歉说，对不起，没有得奖，这样也行嘛？我说，当然行。这个穿着好像大一码的风衣、戴着墨镜的矮小男子，耐心地和我解释他的幽默感与漫才的关系；我一边在想，第一部作品之后，他还能继续吗？喜欢一个人的电影并当着他的面完全表达那种感觉，大概是作为一个电影爱好者最大的喜悦。后来在东京变凉的11月，去采访三轩茶屋的一间名画座，那里也挂着“不灯港”的海报，那个瞬间有如遇故人的感觉。
In 2009 I was at IFFR interviewing the debut filmmaker Naito Takatsugu for his Tiger Competition entry Dark Harbour. Before we started, he somehow consoled me and told me he's very sorry for not winning the Tiger (but as the rumour had it, he "would" win...) "Is it still OK you interview me "? he was being considerate, "sure...why not?!". Seemingly packed into a coat one size larger than his actual one and wearing the sunglass all the times, Naito-san was trying hard to explain in detail his sense of humour and how it's related to the comic performance of Manzai in Japan. I was wondering after the debut how far he could go as a filmmaker.
Would I still meet him there? I learnt film festivals are transient beings.
But definitely it's a bliss that you like a film and are given the chance to tell the filmmaker you do love it. In a cold day at Tokyo that year, when I went to visit a meigaza (second or third-run movie theaters; they sometimes show porns too) at Sengenjaya, the poster of Dark Harbour was there, saying hello to me as if we haven't met each other for long.
hello, I replied.
折腾这么久，就是为了和好电影相遇吧。
After all, what we have been trying so hard to do is simply to look for and to meet them.
I believe.
图偷懒省事儿，我喜欢被别人组织胜过喜欢组织些什么。
well I admit that I' like to be "programmed" rather than taking the lead, and maybe that's because we are taking the inertia as essentially part of ourselves'.
而如果真要组织些什么，总觉得要缀上一些类似于“气场”或者“范儿”这些词。说实话我佩服那些一个人两个人就做影展的组合，我曾经觉得，那种活动（在香港、日本和大陆都不少）既小又可怜；组织者都有点神叨叨的，令人担心他们的精神状态胜过对节目的关心。
I used to believe that, if really I'd take charge of putting up anything, this something should be sort of high-profile and (possibly glaringly) eye-catching. And, I highly sympathize with those initiators who only have her and her one-and-only friend/partner to set up a "film festival",which is not a rare practice either in Hong Kong , Japan or Mainland
谁能不陶醉啊，在鹿特丹或者香港，或者釜山的国际影展上，看大妈们面对着韩国帅哥面露神光，或者在尖沙咀的街头和bela tarr擦身而过，在香港大会堂看完最后一场电影以后在小巴上看见david bordwell的背影，在鹿特丹和sokurov要签名。我压根不羡慕康城或者威尼斯，但我不否认我的虚荣心。
Fascinating to be part of the fancy events at Rotterdam, Hong Kong or Pusan---plus the bonus experiences of witnessing the Japanese ladies screamed their Korean idols' names at the lobby of the luxurious hotels at Haeundae, or passing by Bela Tarr at the busy crosswalk of Tsim Shatsui, bidding goodbye quietly to David Bordwell after he also finished his last film at that year's HKIFF, or rushing to ask for the autograph of Sukorov while the other "professionals" withheld their excitement and watched...in my mind Cannes or Venice were never "the destination"---but undeniably, my vanity of being a cinephile nourishes on all those precious moments and
encounters.
坐在只有三个观众的独立影展的观众席上，那个时候只想跑到街上给人们派钱让他们进来，而且会觉得这寂寥和自己深刻有关联。
Sitting in the big theater with only two other audiences (am not even sure about the plural form here) at an indie festival at Hong Kong, one thought was to throw money to passers-by and ask them to fill the empty seats, another thought is self-blame as if the unpopularity or the misery of cinephilia is because of me.
though I did pay my ticket.
如今, 当我自己变成“小可怜”的组织者之一，突然发现，如果没有之前“高大全”的时光，或许不会如此执着于我们现在想要做成的事。因为我也清楚的知道，“高大全”在最开始的开始，也都是“小可怜”。少了当初疯子一般的hubert bals，不会有今天的鹿特丹；你在全世界的影展看到jacob wong (他是HKIFF的主要选片人),他有时候也许的确是一个人在战斗。
Turning ourselves into one of the dreamers pushing "small pathetic"(xiaokelian) events to happen, I realize that without the education I've got from those shining happenings, we would be less optimistic about what we are doing now. All those brilliant fests at their very start used to be both small and pathetic right?? Without the paranoid Hubert Bals, there would't be a Rotterdam International Film Festival; while you may see that the HKIFF's Jacob Wong is travelling around the world, getting older each time you meet, and he is in a sense fighting alone. (I don't think he'd mind that...)
放映组织电影节目和在贵国拍电影比起来，大概是太过简单的一件事情。
Plus, to programme films may be too easy an undertaking compared to the filmmaking in your dear countryland.
以此自勉。今天我们的明信片+flyers从北京快递出，花了700多块钱人民币。
just let me to finish this piece with sort-of happy ending.
Wang Jue sent the postcards and flyers from Beijing to me at Osaka today, which cost us more than 700 RMB.
PS: but to print them all at Osaka is no less cheaper...
有劳王珏！
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